The 7 Stages of Packing

Moving sucks. Hard.

Sure you might be moving to a new and exciting place, but you're also going to be knee deep in that awkward in-between time that comes with transporting all your useless crap to a new location.

By the way, the rental truck's insurance does not cover your possessions...

And if moving is the equivalent of wading through raw sewage, then packing up is the hole in the seam of your boots.

Oh gross, what is in my socks?!
Ew, ew, ew. Oh god, it's everywhere!

Ah packing. It's a dirty, messy, stressful job, and also something of an emotional journey, filled with it's own pitfalls and obstacles. Such as...

1. Denial

"Well, I live in a pretty tiny apartment, it's not like we've got a ton of stuff. Packing up shouldn't take that long." 

Just give me thirty minutes. Max.

 But then reality sets in, followed by...

2. Pain and Guilt

Four hours later.

Where did I put the damn packing tape?

"How in the hell did I accumulate so much shit?! This is insane.
Whew! I need a rest, my back is killing me. Maybe I'll take a quick internet break...."

Six hours later.

facebookpinterestyoutubeetsycatstumblrstumbleuponblogspuppiesebaypetfinderamazon....
TO INFINITY!

"Hahaha! Look at that cat, he's a silly little guy...

Time. Suck.

Oh my god, how is it that late already? Damn you internet! If only I had unplugged the stupid computer first I could have been more productive..."

Go back to work

3. Anger

That moment when you seriously consider just torching everything.

Arson: The maniac's reset button.

"You know what, screw this noise. I'm sick of bubble wrapping these damn glasses. From now on we're doing things Darwin style. Everything gets chucked in a box, and if it breaks, oh well.
Survival of the fittest, bitches."

I am not the fittest...

Then comes...

4. Bargaining

"Okay, if I fill one more box then I'll internet for fifteen minutes. Just need to make sure to set a timer..."

Feed me.

Yet once I tear myself away from the computer screen to look around the room, I slowly slide into...

5. Depression

Two hours later

"Shit! I didn't hear the alarm. Stupid phone must have been on vibrate. Dammit! This is never going to get done. I should just quit now and try to get an early start tomorrow..."

Someone play me some sad walking away music.

6. Reconstruction and Working through

"Okay, okay. Just need to focus on one thing at a time. I've done this before, it's not a big deal..."

I am getting so drunk when this is over...

But finally you reach...

7. Acceptance/Scary Productivity

"That's it! The computer is getting packed now. This whole place is getting sealed and stacked."

Whoops! Sorry pup, didn't see you there...

And off we go into the sunset...

Ah moving. A fresh start! A new journey! A seriously royal pain in the ass...