She is also the world's worst gift-giver.
But before you crucify me as an ungrateful brat, let me be clear; her gifts aren't terrible within themselves, it's not like she doesn't care... they're hilariously bad because she's so damn thoughtful. Which I have the upmost appreciation for.
Basically, my mother is a pro at coming breathtaking close to giving an amazing present, only to blow it in the fourth quarter. Successfully snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
For example, on my birthday last year she got me a bright purple T-shirt with John Wayne's face emblazoned on it. It's tragic, because I completely understand her thought process. She knows I love John Wayne and purple is one of my favorite colors. In mom-theory, it should be awesome! But this is so bad, even a hipster would have trouble wearing it ironically.
|Seriously. This is beyond kitsch.|
While vacationing in a small town on the coast of Lake Michigan, with my future in-laws no less, she had the very thoughtful idea of getting my sister a gift.
My sister goes to a college in Detroit, their colors are white and green, and my mom knows that my sister has an affinity for Detroit, however, I don't think she quite thought this one through.
Keep in mind, she made this purchase in the company of my future mother-in-law, and left it in a bag for my sister to find with a note that said "Hope it fits!"
|Hope. It. Fits.|
Yes. This is for real.
Love you, Mom! You adorable nut!