11.01.2012

Love via Netflix

Commitment: You've been together awhile. Time to take the plunge and share a Netflix account.
I love you so much! Let's combine our love for entertainment!
Just be prepared to be berated for twenty minutes when I find out you fell asleep during "Pulp Fiction".

Compatibility: It's important to begin with a solid foundation. Like a natural consistency in checking the mail and a mutual regard for dark comedies.
Did anyone else just see Patrick Bateman while watching "Batman"?

Attention: It's easy in the beginning, but gets harder to pay proper attention to your partner further on, especially when they keep insisting on starting a conversation five minutes after the PS3 Netflix updates have been completed and you're trying to watch "Wilfred".
It's a man in a dog suit, and it's good.
I know! I was just as surprised as you are.

Respect: New episodes of a show you hate, but your partner loves, have been added to instant streaming, and you tell your partner about them anyway.
He's not a psychic, just really observant? Seriously?
The only reason I tolerate it is for the pineapples...

Trust: Having faith that your partner will remember to mail out the old DVD's so that "The NeverEnding Story" will arrive in time for your 1980's movie marathon on Saturday. 
Because luck dragons are the shit.

Compromise: Not flooding the DVD Queue with boring "classic" movies, or shitty Steven Seagal "action thrillers".
Tee-hee! It's like Seagal is a pervert.

Bonding: Find that connection to share. Like when you both discover your love for "Archer".
Fuck yes.

Honesty: Not sneakily shifting your movies to the top of the queue to avoid watching "On Deadly Ground".
Ugh. There is just far too much fringe...

Patience: Remaining calm while your partner tries to make claims that Steven Seagal is like a modern John Wayne (he isn't).


Kindness: Sitting through all 127 minutes of "McLintock!" or all 96 minutes of "Submerged" without complaining.


Spontaneity: Agreeing to watch "Toys" on a whim. Discover too late that it's the worst movie ever.
Dammit Robin Williams!
I trusted you!

Communication: Letting your partner know when you're rearranging the lineup of movies in your queue. Checking with your partner before removing anything from instant queue.
What the hell did you do with "30 Rock"?!

Humor: A little less "Requiem for a Dream", a little more "Princess Bride".
Because everyone can use more young Cary Elwes in their life.

Fidelity: Not giving out the damn Netflix password!
Who the hell is watching "Killer Klowns from Outer Space"?

And finally...

Acceptance: Being okay with having half your queue eaten up by Greta Garbo silent films, while the other half drowns in "Zombie Strippers" and Jean-Claude Van Damme doing the splits.
The man's entire career is built on freakish flexability.

Because at this point, who else are you going to find that's so willing to share the journey of conforming ass cheeks to couch cushions?
Yay! 'Merica!

1 comment:

  1. I have just installed iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete