Cringeworthy - But at least you'll feel better about yourself.

Growing up is tough. We're exposed to millions of new experiences, but are supposed to act as though we've done it all before. Of course that's impossible. So we do stupid things and make less than stellar decisions because we're learning. And that never stops. Ever.

Some folks are just slower than others.
And since no one person knows the correct response to all of life's scenarios, we occasionally have some pretty spectacular screw ups. Naturally this causes us to wish that death by embarrassment was a real thing. 
However, considering my track record, I assure you, it is not.

In keeping with the grand tradition of laughing at people doing stupid things, I hope you enjoy these next few posts. And if you don't, perhaps you will enjoy this instead.
The Very Serious Elf.

The time: Two days ago.

The place: Work

Outcome: Had to change pants.

Imagine you're at work. It's still early, but it's been a pretty good morning so far. You've managed to get to work on time and actually remembered to make coffee.
Christmas is only a few days away, and that holly jolly goodwill-toward-men feeling is bubbling up inside you. Maybe you're singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer a little louder than you would if you knew people were around.

That was the situation I found myself in as I was going through the office back door. Balancing a coffee mug on the clipboard I was carrying in one hand, while I fished for my keys with the other.
"... had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.
Like a lightbulb!"

As I was dealing with the door, a few things happened simultaneously. I heard a voice say "Morning", and a tiny head popped out from behind the hood of a car parked not three feet away.

How long have you been standing there!?
Naturally I jumped about a foot in the air, spilling coffee all over myself as the little person came ambling out from behind the car. He was dressed in a bright red cardigan.
Eh. Something like that.
Anyway, I think it was the combination of being startled and in Christmas mode that caused my brain to short-circuit. Effectively throwing all politically correct thinking out the window.
So as I stood there, covered in coffee, the only thing going through my head was:
"An Elf is talking to me!"
Damn you Hollywood!
Of course that's ridiculous, so I started laughing. But this was a very serious little person. Perhaps he guessed my thoughts and disapproved, or was just disturbed by my lack of professionalism. Either way, he was not laughing. Which caused me to become really embarrassed.

The coffee mug I had dropped was rolling toward him. He eyed it, stepped over the mug and went inside.

Burned. Both by coffee and a little person.


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