Because, blah blah blah, air flow, yadda yadda yadda, ventilation efficiency...
|It's that thing at the top. |
Basically we don't want our attic to double as a sauna.
|Although now that I think about it...|
Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson look like they rolled around in a middle school prank's worth of shaving cream.
Yet Bill Murray barely gets a dollop?
What the hell?!
Mainly because of this:
There's really nothing between me and death right now, huh?
Of course I didn't realize this until I was actually on said roof.
T: "Today would be a good day to install that ridge vent."
B: "Okay, I'll help you!"
..... ..... .....
And this is what reckless confidence gets you:
|Oh my God.|
I am going to die.
However, during this time of pants shitting terror I did learn some valuable lessons.
- Thank goodness for crab soccer.
|The lame offspring of soccer and limbo.|
|Smell my foot!|
Going up the slope of a roof is one thing, it's getting back down without gravity making you it's bitch; that's tricky...
|Pictured: Gravity's bitches.|
There's an old trick that involves using sawdust on snow paths to increase traction. Unfortunately, the same does not apply for asphalt roofs.
|Sawdust sucks when you're thirty feet in the air.|
In other words, the chances of falling to your death increase significantly.
|This guy knows what I'm talking about.|
So, in our case, part of the roof had to be cut out to provide for the vent.
|Mind the gap.|
|I believe the term is "bear".|
I have a "healthy fear" of a lot of things. Death, dismemberment, spiders, needles, lack of internet connectivity...
In the days following the ridge vent episode, I found myself evaluating the slope of neighborhood roofs and imagining climbing them. Occasionally experiencing fits of anxiety when the slant was too steep.
Surrounded by sawdust and certain death.
If only because I'm just too damn stubborn to admit that a roof can defeat me.
But then again...