Realtor Joe: "Hey!"
"Hi Realtor Joe."
(gives me no time to guess)
"They took your offer!"
wheeze wheeze wheeze....
"Are you okay?"
(uncomfortably long pause)
"Yes! Oh, oh, wow. Wait. Is this for real? What about negotiations? I was told there would be negotiations?! WHAT AM I MISSING?!?!"
"Um, no. You're good. They were about to go into foreclosure, so the sellers bank just decided to go with your offer."
"You close in five weeks."
"You'll be a homeowner by the end of the year!"
"This...there's something wrong... this is too easy."
And for a brief period of time, I came close to vomiting up the thirty two ounces of coffee and spoonful of peanut butter that had been my breakfast.
Emotions have gone from disbelief to excitement to terror. I went back to excitement briefly, but now I'm smack dab in the middle of being completely petrified.
I mean, these are real adults, and real businesses that I'm dealing with here. And they're all trusting me to not screw everything up.
I may need to lie down.
It's one thing to fantasize about your dream house. Casually waving your hand and being all like, "Yeah, I'll just tear down this wall and add a skylight. That second room could totally double as a non-regulation bowling alley."
But now, oh man, now things are actually happening!
Am I ready for this kind of responsibility?
Oh god, I'm going to need to buy a lawnmower.